losing touch with reality

Losing touch with reality

Guilt burns in my stomach

Anxiety racks my bones

Fear runs through my veins

Confusion chaos races in my brain

Fighting for control of myself

Sometimes it feels like too much

It encompasses me

Enveloping me completely

I can’t see the way out

Just keep telling myself

It can’t last forever

Just hold onto what’s real

But those lines begin to blur

I start to lose sight of “real”

I feel eyes watching me

The voices start screaming in my head

Vision of impending doom are unrelenting

It gets harder to think or to feel

It seems like it will never end

Frantic there’s nowhere to run to

I can’t escape it

Try to ride it out another battle within

Feels like it gets worse each time

Harder to come back from

It drags me down deeper

Wondering how much worse it’s going to get

The highs the lows

This crazy ride of which there’s no way off

All I can do is hang on

But these feelings and thoughts are burning

Inside me hurting making me sick

So weak feeling completely out of control

Just want to sleep till it ends

Trying to function normally

But I’m barely able to function at all

Looking around at everything

Adding to the misery

Feeling so dysfunctional

Trying not see to think or feel these things

Wishing for numbness

Sense’s over acting

Sensitivity covers me all over

Everything seems to hurt

So overwhelming sucks the life out of me

I want to check out

Step out of life for awhile

Let this storm pass

Watch from the side lines

Instead of being tossed around

Sanity feels like a distant memory

Pressure builds inside

Feels like a knife twisting in my gut

Choking on the crazy

Try to convince myself I’m in control

But there is no control

So discouraging I thought I got past all this

Then I fall hard again

It’s never going to end

Always heading for a crash

I will never be any more than this…

This will be the end of me