cruel Possession

maybe you forgot who i am or never really knew
you thought after i left you anything you said or did would get to me
sorry pal when you crossed that line my mind was made and i stopped caring
you put your hands on me out of anger you would never do that again
i lived with your angry moods and yelling for nearly 20 years enough
i took the internal and mental bruises anger was your tool that day hands weapons
truth be told i wanted out and just gave me one as they took you off in cuffs 
i was so ready for goodbye you calling apologies and tears flowing 
your hands didn't break me your apologies and tears didn't bend me
you were in a cell for 20 days i lived in one for years your weak wife 
broke free by your strong hands i had my chance to end my time
it was easy to let go with all i gave and took trying to keep you happy
from the start i was the fool manipulated lied to cheated on was the norm
i was young stupid and broken when you found me and rebuild me to meet your needs
as years passed i was numb and trapped felt it better for the kids us together 
your angry games turning cruel using my illness to control me knowing just how to turn against me
breaking me you did it so subtly and i believed it was my doing you were the support
i was causing the pain and picked up a razor these scars many carry your name
i gave up tried suicide almost dead words spoke remember you did this to me then blackness
woke in another psych unit years of full of this you pushed when needed pulled back timing perfect
then you turn treatment against me threatened to leave me i was getting better and you scared 
i guess you believed my illness kept me there cruel and coldly turned my kids into weapons
knowing i couldn't live without them spoke of taking them and leaving they didn't want me
i was on my knees again watched you build a wall between us you stole so much time
that was meant for my children i'm making up lost minutes everyday with you gone 
there's laughing hugs and strength we are all happier now you lost it and gave me my chance 
ok now lets see how you will spin this yup i live with mental illness and it's problems 
since you've been gone i have improved remarkably getting treatment learning to deal 
and finding i strong enough to live 
i thought i couldn't live without you...i just couldn't live WITH you

thankfully christine