that twisted urge to cut

things you'll never understand

I love the way it feels hate the way it makes you feel
when that cold blade slides across my warm skin
 it's like i can breathe i feel in control
 for a moment when the scars fade
 i'm not sure how to feel or what to do
 when the blood drips it's like opening a damn
 that holds all my emotions and i can release them
i try to stop it but when i'm hurting my mind out of control
this is a way of finding relief i know it's not a good thing
you don't understand but there's alot about me you can't understand
i don't have the words to explain
i feel so tightly wrapped inside
i have to maintain all these thoughts feelings everything
opening my skin is... like exhaling it's so hard
 left alone i'd be alot worse i push and push it down
 as long as i can but... then it shoves me back and it gets to be to much...

don't judge me
That first slice
cold metal on warm skin
blood release pain spilling
mind numbing

opened vein red river                                                              
close eyes just breathe
inhale...exhale relief
moment of silence
watch it drip...
know your still alive
blood flow tears fall
it feels so wrong but
so right