Saturday, July 27, 2013

stuck in this place bound by your words

Bound

Sometimes your words make me
Feel like I’m not a person
Just a waste of space
You’ve no idea how hard I try
To be a functional part of society
But I can’t move forward
The fear of failure screwing up
Holds me here
The terror of interacting with people
Keeps me hidden
I don’t want them to see my stupidity
They’ll see it in me
I don’t deserve to be o.k. I hear it
In my head all the time
Its another chain keeping me bound
I struggle to break free
I see the people around and
It looks so easy for them to live
There are times when the chains loosen
Never enough
Just when I can start move
It tightens and I’m bound again
I see the disappointment in your eyes
Hear it in your voice
I am so scared of seeing it hearing it
I hide
Knowing I’ll always be the one flat on my face
Can’t even talk on the phone
I cringe every time it rings
I don’t know the right things to say
I’m bound trapped here
Scared sad paranoid confused delusional
Angry and alone
Dreaming one day
I’ll be stronger than I feel

To break free of the chains that bind…. 

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